Consequences

     I'm living with the consequences of my recent action of moving away and leaving my family.

     I moved away for 32 days and on the 13th day I was gone my husband of 34 years started talking with another woman. I moved back 25 days ago and he is still seeing her and living away from me. He talks and sees her everyday, while I don't get this pleasure.

     I love this man more than anything on this earth.

     My crisis (for lack of a better word) that sent me searching for myself 2 months ago has cost me dearly. While he says he loves me, my husband is not able to forget all I put him through the last 8 months, and doesn't know if time will change that or not. I understand his feelings and I deserve the pain I'm suffering for my mistake. I have ask for his forgiveness and pray each day that someday I'll get it. Love as strong and long as ours has to mean something and I hope he'll see that.

      Our children were needless to say upset and hurt with me when I left and now those feelings apply to their dad. The main difference is that he is seeing this other woman and especially at this time of the year, their feeling like he's choosing her over them. I'm trying to help them understand his position as he did when I went away but they say he's changed in so many different ways, they feel uncomfortable with everyday conversations with him as his reactions and outlook on things is so different from before.

     If anyone reads this and your a praying and believing person, PLEASE put my family in your PRAYERS, ask that the Lord put our family back together and that we will love and appreciate each other as we should. TALK, PRAY, BELIEVE IN EACH OTHER, we can't take back what we've done, but we can learn from our mistakes. LOVE is the greatest gift God gives us, don't waste yours.

     Dennis if by chance you read this, please remember I LOVE YOU more than I'll ever be able to express to you, but I'd love the opportunity to try, for the rest of our lives.

update

Work reared it's ugly head and Dennis didn't get to bring Lorelei to visit me Halloween weekend, I of course ended up being off and spent the two days couped up in my hotel room. I did still recieve a couple of pictures of her in her halloween costume thanks to poppie's cell phone. She was the most beautiful of LADYBUGS.

Then yesterday I decided to come back home. Yes,  I know I wimped out and came back to security or did I.

I really came back because my daughter and mother are battling some health issues and require some assistance, and if a mom and daughter can't supply that, then that make that mom and daughter a sorry ass-ed human. I'm not that selfish and so decided to go where I'm needed, for as long as I'm needed.

I will however miss Durham and the new friends I made.